VNET EDUCATION CIC

The Deputies’ Conference 25/26

A vibrant conference programme, designed to inspire and inform.

From Conflict to Collaboration: Practical Tools from the world of Hostage and Crisis Negotiation

In the dynamic and demanding environment of school leadership, navigating challenging conversations is not just a skill, but an art. For this year’s conference we are thrilled to be joined by hostage and crisis negotiator Nicky Perfect (author of ‘Crisis: True stories of my life as a hostage negotiator’).

We invite you to immerse yourselves in a day of insightful learning and practical application designed to equip you with transformative communication skills. Drawing directly from the high-stakes world of negotiation, Nicky will provide you with cutting-edge strategies and a robust framework to approach even the most sensitive discussions with confidence and efficacy.

The aim is to transform your approach to communication, shifting difficult conversations from sources of conflict to opportunities for genuine collaboration and positive change within your school community.

Session 1

The Psychology of Influence and Behaviour

  • How beliefs, values, and brain responses drive behaviour in conflict and calm
  • The psychology of trust, decision-making, and rapport
  • Introduction to the 4P’s system to have difficult conversations.
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Session 2

The FBI Behaviour Change Stairway

  • Step-by-step breakdown: Active Listening → Empathy → Rapport → Influence → Behavioural Change
  • How this applies in leadership, conflict, and difficult conversations.

Session 3

Crafting Curriculum with Disadvantage in Mind

  • The four modes of listening: Combative, Competitive, Passive, Active
  • What to listen for: emotions, unmet needs, values, fears
  • How listening builds trust and dissolves tension.

Session 4

Push and Pull Communication Styles

  • The difference between directive (push) and inquisitive (pull) approaches
  • When to use which and the impact of each on staff motivation and team culture.

Session 5

The Power of Priming in Conversations

  • What is priming? How to use it to steer emotional and mental framing
  • Language, tone, setting, and preparation as silent influencers
  • Using priming in meetings, feedback, and conflict resolution.
Book now!
  • Date: 21 November 2025
  • Time: 9.00am - 3:00pm
  • Venue: Roundwood, 44 Ringland Road, Taverham, Norwich, NR8 6HY
  • One place is included in your VNET membership. Non-member tickets available to purchase.
Book now!

Nicky Perfect

The Communication Coach
Nicky Perfect is an international hostage and crisis negotiator turned author and trainer. She has 31 years experience as a police officer, over a decades experience as an international hostage and crisis negotiator working for New Scotland Yard's elite full time Hostage and Crisis Negotiation Unit.

For five years she was the director of UK training for hostage and crisis negotiation whilst also deploying on operational incidents both nationally and internationally.

She now owns her own business teaching the skills she learnt as a negotiator to improve relationships through life changing communication.

In 2023 she received a British Empire Medal for meritorious service to her community during the pandemic and her book Crisis is an Amazon best seller.

Conference Schedule:

  • 9.00am: Arrival and refreshments
  • 9.30am - 9.45am: Welcome and Introduction
  • 9.45am - 10.30am: Session 1
  • 10.30am - 11.15pm: Session 2
  • 11.15pm - 11.30pm: Break and Refreshments
  • 11.30pm - 12.15pm: Session 3
  • 12.15pm - 1.00pm: Session 4
  • 1.00pm - 1.30pm: Lunch Break
  • 1.30pm - 2.15pm: Session 5
  • 2.15pm - 2.30pm: Wrap-Up/Reflection
  • 2.30pm - 3.00pm: Extended Q&A and Open Discussion
  • 3.00pm: Close